when i'm with you
by Sukichan111
Summary: When we were kids Hikaru and I were inseparable Our favorite room in our whole house was actually believe it or not the basement. We first went down there when we were 5. that was along time ago 12 years to be exact
1. the basement

When we were kids Hikaru and I were inseparable.

We were cruel twisted people though.

Our favorite room in our whole house was actually believe it or not the basement.

We first went down there when we were 5.

I was scared and clinging to my brother's arm.

"I'm scared" I quivered. "Its okay kao-kao, your safe with your big brother" he smiled proudly.

He was only older by like 8 seconds. And he was scared to I could feel it.

He led me into the dark room.

The only light was coming from the small rectangular windows at the very top of the blue colored walls.

The floor was tiled white and black.

My brother walked me across the room and flicked on the light.

The room was pretty and full of life in the light.

There was a small white love seat against the wall to the left.

A coffee table we hadn't seen in a while sat in front of it.

On the other side of the room in the corner there was a small twin sized bed.

The sheets were navy blue and the blanket was almost white.

I couldn't think of a time we ever needed such a small bed.

Also there was a piano right across from the bed.

The basement became our play room.

Our special room that no one else not even our parents ever went in.

We loved the room and spent almost all our child hood there.

That was a long time ago.

12 years to be exact.

We still spend a lot of time down there.

Were still the only ones who go down there.

The only thing that's changed really is Hikaru and I are a bit taller I guess.

We never needed anyone else…..we were like one person a single being.

I was sitting down on the white love seat in our special room doing my science home work.

Hikaru got in trouble and had to stay at school for detention.

So I'm just finishing up before he gets home in about 20 minutes.

"How boring" I groaned to myself.

I jotted my last answer down on the blank and put my now finished essay in my folder and put the folder in my bag.

Now I was truly bored.

I walked over to the twin sized bed and laid my head down on the pillow.

Hikaru and I slept down here in this small bed when we were kids and still do.

The beds small and not very comfortable but we always preferred it to our king sized bed for some reason.

I don't know why we just did.

I closed my eyes and remembered our first night down here.

**Flashback**

We were still 5 and it was about 3 says after coming down into the room.

It was raining and I was scared.

Hikaru wanted to make me feel better so we went down to the basement to play.

We ran around the room playing hide and seek.

I was hiding and Hikaru was seeking.

He would tap the wall with two fingers and make soft noise when he did.

If the noise was close I'd tap the wall to say he was close.

He taped the wall close to the piano where I was hiding.

I turned and taped the wall behind me.

I giggled a bit.

"Kaoru" he laughed taping my shoulder.

"Your it" he smiled running.

I climbed out from under the piano and chased after him.

The storm was still going outside and we were safe in our own little world.

Safe in our special room.

I yawned and sat down on the small twin sized bed.

Hikaru sat down next to me and smiled.

"I'm tired to kao-kao".

I nodded and went to go back up stairs.

Hikaru caught my small wrist with his hand.

"The storm is still bad kao-kao it's safer down here in our special place" he smiled.

With that we crawled into the twin sized bed and closed our eyes.

And we slept in that small bed ever since.

**Flashback over**

I opened my eyes when I heard my twin's footsteps on the steps coming down into the basement.

I sat up and smiled.

Hikaru looked ticked off.

"What now" I laughed.

He sat down next to me.

"You cussed out the limo driver again huh?" I smiled knowing he did.

"Yeah" he muttered under his breath.

"Knew it" I smirked.

"Why" I asked.

He gave me a look that said you don't wanna know.

I nodded and let it rest.

"How was detention" I whispered with lack of anything better to ask.

"Suckish, had to spend 2 hours with Tamaki how crappy does that sound" he rested his head against the wall

I nodded that would've been the longest 2 hours of my life.

"How was sitting here" he asked opening one eye to look at me.

"Um….boring" I said dimly.

He nodded.

"School sucks without you brother" Hikaru whispered

I'd been staying home a lot due to mom not feeling well.

"I know but mom will feel better soon and I'll be back" I smiled assuring him it wouldn't be much longer and I'd be back in school.

He just nodded and rested his head on my shoulder.

We just sat like that in silence for a while.

"kao-kao" he whispered.

I hadn't heard that nick name in almost 6 years.

I narrowed my eyes so they stared into his honey colored eyes.

"Hmm" I asked.

"I love you" he whispered.

"I….love you to….I guess" I said awkwardly at his sudden randomness.

I didn't get why he said that all of the sudden.

I didn't mind.

Something I fond over the years about my twin and I is that no matter what we always were together. Everything we did was together.

We didn't need anyone else.

I was enough for him and him for me.

I was always shy alone as a child and now I feel weak alone…..but whenever I was with Hikaru I was strong and could stand up for myself.

It's still the same today.

I wonder if our life will ever change actually I hope it never dose.

I love my life the way it is.

There's nothing wrong with it.

I wouldn't trade any of my life for the world.

I noticed Hikaru was asleep now.

I rolled my honey colored eyes and laughed a bit.

I'd just let him sleep…..odds are I'd fall asleep to.

I rested my head on his and closed my eyes and fell asleep.


	2. sorry for being a jerk

A couple weeks passed and mom felt better now.

She and dad were going away for a month or two.

It wasn't the first or even 6th time they'd left us for a long amount of time on business.

We weren't bothered by it.

I was finally able to go back to school.

Haruhi walked up and smiled "good to see you Kaoru"

Hikaru smirked at her.

She continued talking to me.

"Here's all your homework and here's some notes to cover what you missed" Haruhi handed me at least four note books and hundreds of papers.

I sighed thanking her.

Hikaru and I walked to class.

We took our seats next to Haruhi and listened to the lecture being given.

Something about anatomy of a human body and what it's capable of.

I sat there writing useless crap on a piece of paper.

We know this crap already we learned it last year.

How boring.

I heard the bell ring and Hikaru started to talk to Haruhi.

I taped him and he looked up at me.

Then we started for next period.

Haruhi didn't have the next class with us.

We sat side by side in our seats and paid no real attention in class.

Then we went to lunch.

Same as always.

Then it was time for the host club.

"Today were going to play a game to see if our clients like our hosts in awkward positions" Tamaki smirked looking at me and Hikaru.

"What did you do" I hissed at him.

"He he" he laughed quietly with guilt.

"Okay here are your positions" Tamaki smiled.

"Kaoru and Hikaru….won't talk or even look each other in the face until it's time to go

Kyoya…no pictures or taking notes

Haruhi….stay with me" he smirked at her.

"WHAT" Haruhi protested.

"Honey…no snacks

Mori…no Honey" Tamaki finished up with that.

The club started right after.

I just sat there fake crying to some client that Hikaru was away from me and I missed him.

Haruhi looked annoyed with Tamaki.

Honey was crying to Hikaru about his cake.

Kyoya looked petrified in a corner without his clip bored.

Hikaru looked annoyed with Honey.

Some client was all over Hikaru crying for him.

We were really bored and none of the clients liked it.

Tamaki was happy about the pain he thought he was bringing my brother and I.

Soon it was time to go.

Haruhi took off wanting to get away from the boss and honey hugged Mori and ate some cake.

Hikaru scooped me up like a princess and carried me out the school doors.

"Hikaru I feel like a girl" I whined.

"Your acting like one" he smirked.

We got into the limo.

"I'll kill Tamaki" we muttered at the same time.

"Hika…" I was cut off when he put a finger to my lips.

"Not now Kaoru" he just turned and stared out the window.

I was worried now.

He always put me first on his list of priorities.

Why didn't he wanna talk to me.

I didn't care I tried again "Hikaru"

He turned and clamped his hand over my mouth.

"Shut up" he said harshly.

I balled my hands into fists and gathered up all my strength.

"Hikaru Hitachiin" I called out as loud as my voice would allow.

He turned to me with cold eyes.

"What will it take to make you shut up" he hissed coldly.

"You telling me what's wrong" I said in a light tone.

"You won't shut up" he shrugged hoping I'd buy it.

Lair I thought to myself.

"You think I'm lying now huh" he looked me dead in the eyes.

"N-No" I lied.

"I know your lying now" he whispered at my ear.

For some reason I blushed.

Not sure why after all he's only Hikaru.

"Sorry for being a jerk" he smiled.

"I forgive you" I nodded I was still worried though.

We walked into the house and set our things down.

As usual we walked right to the basement.


	3. I'm not a toy

A few days passed normally.

I noticed a change in Hikaru though.

I was sitting on the love seat in our special room thinking about that change.

He seemed to be more aggressive with me…..but only me.

His eyes are colder towards me now.

Why? I don't know.

I heard his footsteps as he entered the basement.

I didn't know what to say to him.

He was wearing a black jacket and a pair of very tight black jeans.

"Nice threads" I joked. He didn't laugh.

"Where are you going" I asked curiously.

"I have a date" he sat down on the piano stool.

"With who" I whispered for some reason this "date" thing bugged me like crazy.

"Haruhi" he smiled looking proud.

My eyes widened…I felt hurt….and I wasn't sure why.

After all our brotherly love is just an act……right?

_Do you really want it to be_ the voice inside my head purred.

I came to terms with the fact I'm attracted to my twin brother in my head.

"w-why" the words left my lips slowly.

"I like her" he looked at me funny.

I turned so he wouldn't see the pain in my eyes.

I felt warmth on my cheek.

He made me look him in the eyes.

"What's wrong my dear brother" he whispered at my lips.

He had been more rude but with the occasional sweetness as well.

"n-nothing" I whispered.

_His voice is so beautiful_ I thought to myself.

"If you think my voice is beautiful brother, just say so out loud" he smirked.

My eyes widened shoot.

Were close and can sometimes read each other's thoughts.

My face turned pink.

"I-I….I don't" I lied.

His lips brushed against mine.

"I know you" he whispered.

I shook my head which he still had a hold of.

His eyes weren't cold anymore they were normal and warm as always.

My cheeks felt hot.

_I don't want it to be an act_ I let my thoughts run wild.

"Neither do I" Hikaru placed a soft kiss on my forehead.

The door bell rang and I followed Hikaru up the stairs.

He opened the door and Haruhi walked in.

She was wearing a red sparkling dress with a slit going up the leg.

There was a red flower in her hair and she had high heels to match the dress.

She looked beautiful I'd be an idiot if I said she didn't.

Hikaru just looked at her with no real expression on his pale face.

They hugged and I was confused.

Was my brother toying with me a second ago?

"I'm not a toy" I cried out for some reason.

They both looked at me and I ran down stairs into our safe room.


	4. Liar

I cried for a while into my hand on the love seat.

I felt thin arms warm around me.

"I know you're not a toy" his voice was gentle and sweet.

I looked up at him he bared only truth in his eyes.

"You tell me you don't want to act, then you hold her , what do you call that" I hissed still crying.

"Your cute when you get jealous" he licked my tears up.

My cheeks turned red.

"What about you date" I whispered.

"It's not a date….Tamaki wants me to take her out to eat while he helps her dad out….it's not a date" he promised placing a light kiss on my lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him lightly.

He licked my lips greedily begging for entrance.

I gave in quickly and let his tongue in my mouth.

My fingers tangled in his hair and his in mine.

He pulled away with a streak of pink across his face.

I nodded and he walked back up stairs.

I heard them leave.

I sat on the couch for a moment then I walked up stairs.

The door bell rang.

I opened it.

"Boss" I asked.

"Where's your brother" he asked.

"What do ya mean, you told him to take Haruhi out while you helped her dad" I yawned.

"WHAT" he yelled.

"I would never let him take Haruhi out I needed him to wake Honey up for me" Tamaki invited himself in.

He lied to me.

"Where did they go" he hissed

I shook my head and shrugged.

He took off into the light rain.

I grabbed my jacket and ran into the rain as well.

I was going to find out why he lied.

That kiss, was it just to distract me?

Would Hikaru really do that?

I shook the questions from my head and ran faster.

I ran out into the street.

Suddenly there were only bright lights and a loud horn.

A light tug and I was in Mori's lap.

Honey was standing fear stricken next to us.

"Thank you" I whispered.

"Kao-Chan what were you thinking" Honey cried.

I shook my head.

"Where's Hikaru" Mori asked.

Again I shook my head.

Mori and Honey walked me home.

I walked in the house alone and shut the door behind me thanking them one last time.

I heard noise.

"Hikaru must be home" I whispered to myself.

I walked down the basement steps and heard more noise, laughing.

I poked my head around the corner of the open door.

Haruhi lay under Hikaru still fully dressed on the twin sized bed her hair a mess and her makeup smeared.

Hikaru on the other hand was shirtless and covered in lipstick.

I pressed my body against the wall just outside the door way and breathed heavily I tried not to cry.

I couldn't help it though.

It was our room, our bed, and my Hikaru.

Why would he do that…….why?

What did I do?

The warm tears spilled over my cheeks now.

I slid down the wall until I was sitting on the floor crying into my hands.

I heard one of them get up.

I ran up the steps.

Hikaru walked toward me.

"I had no idea you were home" he smiled.

I looked away.

He sat down next to me and I got up and walked to the other end of the living room.

"Kaoru" Haruhi smiled.

I glared at her.

"See ya" Hikaru kissed her cheek and she left.

"Liar" was all I had to say to him before I walked down stairs.

I started playing the piano.

Hikaru walked in and sat on the bed.

"Night" he smiled.

I nodded standing up I headed for the door.

"Where are you going" he asked standing up.

"To bed I'm sleeping in my own bed.

"Why" he asked.

"I am god damn it" I yelled.

He looked a little shocked.

"You're sleeping with me" he hissed grabbing my wrist before I could stop him.

"The hell I am" I yanked my hand away.

"Why the hell are you acting this way" he pushed me into the wall.

"Fuck of" I whispered harshly pushing past him.


	5. new loving touch, missing the old touch

I ran to my room and stared out at a silver moon.

I locked the door when I got in here Hikaru had been banging on my door for 20 minutes now.

"Kaoru" he yelled.

"Go away" I yelled into my pillow.

He broke his promise about the basement; about it being only ours….I won't though…no matter how much I hate him.

I had a horrific nightmare that night and over the next few weeks I got used to them.

I had quit the host club I couldn't stand Haruhi or my brother.

I walked down stairs and sat down at the piano.

I'd been playing it a lot lately I was pretty good at it now.

I heard Hikaru coming down so I got up.

He walked in and looked at me.

I'd been straying away from his touch these past weeks.

He knew damn well he was getting nowhere.

"I talked to Haruhi" he whispered sitting down on the bed.

I ignored him and turned my back to him.

"You know I brought her down here" he whispered.

I turned to him and nodded.

"I'm sorry" he whispered.

I shook my head "Go to hell"

I walked up stairs and out the door.

As for Hikaru I was done with him.

I wasn't forgiving him.

I didn't care anymore.

He doesn't care so why should I?

It was sunny and I was walking down the street with my hands in my pockets.

Mori and Honey joined me.

I thanked them again for helping me out and we parted ways.

Well honey left Mori stayed.

"So Hikaru really did that" he whispered.

I nodded. "Yeah"

"Sorry" he looked at me with sympathy.

"You'll be fine it's his loss" Mori smiled.

I smiled to for some reason.

We stopped and had some ice cream and talked until we came to the park.

We sat down on the swings and talked and laughed.

I was laughing and without Hikaru it was nice.

I wasn't even mad at Haruhi she didn't do anything I'm pissed with Hikaru though.

"Kaoru" Mori looked at me.

"Hmm" I looked up.

"It's okay to be sad, to cry" he said softly.

"No it's not" I wanted to cry.

The sun was setting and we were alone in the park now.

"Its okay" he encouraged me to let it all out.

I fell to my knees in the gravel and cried.

Mori knelt down in front of me.

I cried into his shirt.

His touch was gentle and warm.

But secretly it was nothing compared to Hikaru's loving hands and his voice wasn't nearly as beautiful.

Still he was warm and I clang to him…..I clang to the warmth.

Does it make me bad to still want Hikaru even after what he did?

I want to hate him but I just can't.


	6. lets play docter

Mori walked me home.

Hikaru let me in.

"What is he doing with you" Hikaru hissed.

"What's it to you" I smirked walking down the steps.

I lay down on the bed for the first time in a while.

I still wanted to feel Hikaru's touch but I wasn't giving in to my wants.

Not even for a second.

True I missed my brother's kiss and warmth but I'm not that weak.

Hikaru walked in to the room looking furious.

"What is it" I asked sitting up.

"Honey just told me you and Mori were embracing at the park" he hissed.

"Yup" I smiled.

He was ticked.

"Kaoru" he smirked.

I missed his smirk and it sent chills up my spine making me shutter.

"Let's play a game" he smiled suggestively.

I looked at him.

"Let's play doctor" he smirked again.

"I shouldn't" I whispered.

"Why we haven't played in so long" he whimpered.

I shook my head.

"In fact you haven't spoken to me" he was getting closer to my face now.

Shoot I let him get to close.

There was warmth on my lips now.

I wanted to push him away but I felt so week at the moment.

My body didn't wanna move.

His fingers tangled in my hair.

He pulled away.

"Wanna play" he asked his eyes half lidded.

His breath was hot on my lips and it made him hard to resist.

"Don't go too far with it" I pleaded.

"Tell me when your uncomfortable and I'll stop" he promised.

I nodded.

Talk about getting drunk on someone's kiss.

"Lay down" he said.

I did as he asked.

He pulled on a white trench coat that was lying at the foot of the bed.

Then he grabbed the medical kit from under the bed.

"Shirt" he smirked.

I tossed my shirt aside.

He pressed the cold iron stethoscope to my chest making me shiver.

My face was pink I knew that for sure.

"Blood pressure" he smiled wrapping the velcro around my arm.

He kissed me once or twice in between pumps.

I moaned.

"Good, Good" he smirked.

"Undress the rest of the way please" he smirked.

"Hikaru I don't know" I blushed.

He kissed me again.

"No" I whispered.

This time his tongue made its way into my mouth.

I blushed and moaned.

He pulled away.

Soon the rest of my clothing was on the floor.

Loud moans escaped my mouth as he sucked me long and hard.

This was a bit much.

I knew that.

It shouldn't be happening.

Soon he entered me.

"HI-K-K-K-ARU" I screamed loudly in between moans.

I was breathing heavy now.

We came at the same time.

We didn't stop there for some reason.

My brother's touch was too good to resist now.

He held me close sweating and we screamed each other's names.

We both came again.

A burning feeling welled up inside me.

An amazing feeling.

It felt so right but was so wrong.

I should hate Hikaru and yet I'm fucking him.

Why, I don't know.

But I needed it.

I was still real mad but hey what the heck it started and had to be finished.

and i planned to finsih it.

we kissed eachother passionetly.

"I love you" he yelled out.

"I love you to" I said with out thinking.

"Forgive me" he asked pulling away from me.

"N-No" i shook my head covering myself with the blanket.

he just nodded and got dressed.


	7. when i'm with you

I woke up the next day feeling dizzy and in pain.

It hurt to stand.

I got dressed for the day after showering and walked down stairs.

Hikaru was sleeping on the love seat.

I leaned over and whispered "I'm sorry" at his ear.

I went to walk away and he caught my wrist.

"I'm sorry" he whispered back.

"for what" I asked.

He sat up and stared at me like an idiot.

"oh that" I had completely forgotten the Haruhi thing I was saying sorry for yesterday.

"I can't forgive you for that, but I'm willing to talk it out before I go" I smiled sitting down next to him.

"go where" he looked up.

"away for a bit" I sighed.

"why" he asked.

"so I don't burden you and Haruhi. It must be hard when I'm always around" I faked a smile.

"I never said I loved her" he cupped my cheek in his hand.

"didn't need to" I sighed again.

"I said I loved you though" he said softly and sweetly.

"well you didn't act like it" I whispered.

"I know I hurt you, I'm sorry" he kissed my forehead.

I shook my head "why did you do it"

"I just….it's a long story" he sighed like me.

"you have my full attention" I promised.

"okay…Haruhi and I went out to eat and on the way home got caught in the rain.

She was scared of the thunder.

We ran back to the house.

She instantly ran down into the basement.

I followed and tossed my shirt to the ground because it was wet.

Thunder cracked and she fell backwards on to the bed and in a hurry to cover her I climbed up on top of her.

She buried her face into my neck and her makeup was getting everywhere" he explained.

I couldn't believe that I had gotten so mad about that.

"I'm so sorry" I whispered throwing my arms around his neck.

He pulled me close.

"Stay here" he begged at my ear.

I nodded against his chest.

"I love you" we said at the same time.

Now we sat on that small bed.

In the room we'd done everything in.

In this room we did our home work since we were kids, we slept here together since we were kids, we shared all our secrets here, we played here, and we even made love here.

This was truly our room…..our little piece of heaven our safe place.

But when I'm with Hikaru I'll hold him close

Because I don't know when I'll lose him

But no matter what when we were together we were in this room.

And in this room we'll make many more memories I'm sure of it.


End file.
